empty

sometimes we aren’t sure what to feel. melodramatic at heart. everything seems to induce a little bit of pain. yet when i come to write this piece, nothing comes to mind. it’s tough. i’m more lost than usual because nothing makes me want to do anything. everything is missing. everything is wrong. this isn’t you. this is you. what is it.

the emptiness comes and goes sometimes. that’s when you need a break in reality. something new needs to come and swing life out of place. maybe that’s why i’m desperate to find someone new. desperate to feel something, success or failure. i just need something to change. anything.

i may spend much time pushing myself for a new study environment. i may change my sleep schedule, my work schedule. everything may evolve and revolve, but what changes will stick and which will mean something. i don’t really know.

I think I just want to feel something.