Happy Self-loathing Day!

It’s that time of year again. A day of dread and self-loathing. This time I’m turning 19, it’s a little less momentous than last time, but still, doesn’t feel great. One year older, one year closer to death. Another year, another year of failed expectations. I don’t know, this year I felt like I’ve grown up the most in some ways, but I don’t feel like I’ve changed very much as a person if that makes sense (It probably doesn’t). A year of trials and tribulations, and failing the test on most of them when it mattered, but whats new. Thinking back on this year, I would describe it as the worst year of my life. It felt like the culmination of high school and a lot of years of work didn’t really amount to much, and from a human relationship standpoint, probably one of my worst. Despite that, I feel like I’ve grown up because growing up is accepting that you’re not unique and that you are quite profane. That’s the point that hit me the hardest, but also the point that has affected my perspective the most. It’s been a year. It can’t get any worse than that shit so probably on the rise for the year from here. The rebuild has begun and things don’t look all bad. 19. Cheers! to the absolute worst year of my life. Peace.