feeling like you’ve done so much

Sometimes I feel like I’ve done so much more than everyone else, it’s just that no one ever takes notice or cares. Sometimes is I wonder it’s because I care so much and constantly push forward that nothing ever goes for me. Sometimes it feels like that the more I care, the more likely things are to never go in my favor. It’s a dooming feeling, but one that I still battle with constantly. I try to do so much more than everyone else, and I hope that slowly it begins to matter.

The biggest time that I thought it would matter was College, but it didn’t mean shit. It felt like everything I did was overlooked for some random reason, and here I am trying to prove that it does matter. That I can be better than all the people that did less, but got more. Maybe one day it will come true. Until then, it’s back to the grind stone. Grind until you’re tired. Grind until you’re tired enough to fall asleep. To fall asleep without needing to lay awake wondering wtf is going on.